My week with TWO AND A HALF MEN

Sep 03 2011 Published by under TV

I wrote that post title without thinking and then realised there are obvious homosexual connotations.  Never mind, it’s staying.

Anyway, on Monday I was talking to my father about how excited I was that Ashton Kutcher was coming back to TV on Two and a Half Men.  I wasn’t excited because of the show he was returning on, but more for the fact that I thought he was very good on That 70s Show playing an idiot.  I read a long time ago that it’s very difficult to play an idiot.  I’m not sure how true that it but it’s always stuck with me.

So, whilst I was telling my father about Kutcher coming back, I was surprised to know that not only did my dad know who I was talking about, but he also knew that Kutcher was gonna be starring in Two and a Half Men.  To be clear, my father knows next to nothing about film and TV.  He’s a lawyer and when he’s not thinking about the law, he’s either watching documentaries about World War 1, or watching AFL or rugby league.  I proceeded to tell my dad how I thought the 10 minutes of Two and a Half Men that I saw about 4 years ago was absolutely terrible and was again surprised to hear that my dad actually watches the show and enjoys it.  Now I value my father’s opinion on a number of things, but television certainly isn’t one of them.  Nevertheless, I decided after this brief discussion with my father that I’d watch the first season of Two and a Half Men, a show I’ve long considered to be the epitome of what’s wrong with network television.

My conclusion after 24 episodes?  Two and a Half Men sucks.

It hasn’t made me laugh once.  The kid is trying to be funny and cute, but comes off annoying.  All the jokes are telegraphed like every shitty sitcom in the history of television.  It seems like Jon Cryer’s character should be the one who left the marriage because he was gay.  Charlie Sheen has a creepy little smirk on his face the entire time, that’s both distracting and kinda unsettling.  And the whole “custody” element with the kid reminds me of work and how people think the law operates like it’s portrayed on television.

I’m a lawyer who specialises in family law, and there were a bunch of times during this first season where I simply had to turn the TV off because I got so angry.  I can literally imagine client’s of mine seeing a show like Two and a Half Men and thinking they can act this way in relation to their own legal issues.  I know it’s just a dumb TV show and I shouldn’t take it so seriously, but I deal with this sort of shit every day and it makes my life so fucking infuriating.  I swear people think the way they do about family law because some fucking moron writer just has to include legal stuff in their sitcom because to them it’s just so funny.  God damn it gets me mad.

I remember a Weekend Update joke when Everybody Loves Raymond went off the air, and the line was “Everyone has mixed feelings about Charlie Sheen”.  That couldn’t be more true, especially after his crazy ass meltdown earlier this year.

You know what’s really bad about Two and a Half Men?  I seriously believe I could write a better show.  Now that’s probably not the reality, but the show is so plain it seems like literally anyone could write something of comparable quality.  Unlike shows such as Parks and Recreation, Archer, or 30 Rock, which have inventive wordplay and subtle jokes, Two and a Half Men goes for the obvious easy “joke” every time.  And it’s neither funny nor clever.

In summation, Two and a Half Men is just as poor as The Big Bang Theory, Chuck Lorre’s other hit, but unlike The Big Bang Theory it doesn’t have Kaley Cuoco’s breasts to keep me interested.

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Best of the Week: 3rd – 9th Oct 2010

Oct 13 2010 Published by under TV

A weekly post with the purpose of highlighting the shows I watched during the week and how I ranked them.  It’s not intended as a list of all shows on the air, only those that I actually watched during the week.  Watching something on Monday that aired on Friday won’t make the cut.

Like everything on this site it’s for my own enjoyment but feel free to comment.

Late again writing this up due to work.  I still haven’t watched any Dexter this season plus I’ve only seen the first four episodes of last season of The Office so I can’t really watch this season.  Add to that me being behind on both Mad Men and Rubicon and a good number of quality shows aren’t gonna make my Best of the Week for a while.  That being said, the stuff that I am watching I’m pretty happy with.

1.  Eastbound and Down “Chapter 8” (2×02) – “That’s racist.  I love to racist.”  That’s fucking comedy gold.  8/10

2.  Terriers “Manifest Destiny” (1×05) – It’s like a grown up Veronica Mars and is quite possibly the best show on TV right now.  8/10

3.  Modern Family “The Earthquake” (2×03) – More great stuff from Sarah Hyland and Ariel Winter, plus Julie Bowen was really good this week.  I didn’t care for the Cam and Mitchell story that much, but that’s probably because I’m not a fan of Nathan Lane.  8/10

4.  Community “The Psychology of Letting Go” (2×03) – Alison Brie covered in oil.  Yes please.  Plus some really good scenes with Ken Jeong and John Oliver.  Just a shame that Danny Pudi was pretty much absent.  7/10

5.  30 Rock “Let’s Stay Together” (5×03) – It was almost Seinfeld-like in how the various plots came together in the end.  Not a bad episode but I’m looking forward to the live episode way more than these early ones.  7/10

6.  Fringe “The Plateau” (3×03) – I was very surprised that I actually liked this alternaverse episode, but I can’t wait for the inevitable showdown between real Olivia and alternaverse Olivia.  7/10

7.  Detroit 1-8-7 “Nobody’s Home/Unknown Soldier” (1×03) – Pretty decent stories which also introduced the presumed season long antagonist.  I wonder what happened to Fitch in New York?  7/10

8.  How I Met Your Mother “Unfinished” (6×03) – The star of this weeks episode was clearly Cobie Smulders.  Her rage filled rants against her ex were the highlight of the episode.  Of course, I have a friend called Bean so “where’s the poop Bean” is gonna be used on him from now until the day I die.  7/10

9.  Bored to Death “Make It Quick, Fitzgerald!” (2×02) – Way way better than last weeks episode for no other reason than it felt and looked like an episode of Bored to Death.  7/10

10.  South Park “Poor and Stupid” (14×08) – Not that great a return for South Park but it was as delightfully offensive as it always is.  Plus South Park will continue to be the best animated show on TV until Archer returns.  6.5/10

11.  Outsourced “Party of Five” (1×03) – Eh.  That’s about it.  Not really that memorable but not bad either.  6.5/10

12.  Running Wilde “Oil & Water” (1×03) – Another consistent effort from Running Wilde which was bolstered by the increased presence of David Cross but dragged down by the lack of Peter Serafinowicz.  6/10

13.  Glee “Grilled Cheesus” (2×03) – Decent story but absolutely terrible music choices.  Losing My Religion is not a song about faith, it’s about obsession.  That song would have been far more appropriately used in Eastbound and Down if Stevie had sung it to Kenny. Glee succeeds mainly on it’s musical choices but I expect some semblance of a story.  This week there was a fairly decent plot but it was as good as ruined by poor music and some downright ridiculous (even for Glee) comedic choices.  Grilled cheese Jesus.  Are you fucking kidding me?  And again, nowhere near enough Brittany or Santana.  6/10

14.  The Big Bang Theory “The Zazzy Substitution” (4×03) – Average yet again.  What more is there to say other than this show sucks.  Bean, Crystal, Peter and Nathan, you all have terrible taste and shouldn’t be allowed to watch TV until your taste improves.  5/10

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Best of the Week: Delayed by FIFA 11 Edition (26th Sept – 2nd Oct 2010)

Oct 04 2010 Published by under TV

A weekly post with the purpose of highlighting the shows I watched during the week and how I ranked them.  It’s not intended as a list of all shows on the air, only those that I actually watched during the week.  Watching something on Monday that aired on Friday won’t make the cut.

Like everything on this site it’s for my own enjoyment but feel free to comment.

Best of the Week is a bit late this week thanks to the release of FIFA 11.  It’s sucked a good majority of my time and I only got around to watching my shows late in the week.  So with one week down and I’ve dropped Chase, The Event and No Ordinary Family, plus Lone Star has been cancelled.  Premiere week is always exciting but the next week is when reality sets in and you realise that far more shitty shows are on the air than good ones and that generally the networks have no idea what they’re doing.  Although, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Outsourced wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be or as all the reviews said it was.  It probably helps that it’s not a laugh track comedy, because if it was I’d most likely hate it.

1.  Modern Family “The Kiss” (2×02) – I love that they took an episode which would usually be a sweeps stunt about a gay kiss and turned it into an episode about love, showing affection and how your parents hangups can become your own.  The episode was also a not so subtle confirmation that the writer’s are aware of criticism about Cam and Mitchell’s relationship.  To be honest, it was a little weird that they haven’t shown any kind of psychical affection over the first 20+ episodes.  One of the great things about the relationship between Willow and Tara on Buffy was that them kissing was never a big deal.  It was just what two people who’re in love do.  Hopefully this will be a stepping stone to showing a more natural relationship between Cam and Mitchell.  What I really liked about the episode was that when Cam and Mitchell do finally kiss it’s kinda in the background as Jay hugs Claire.  It’s almost missable if you’re not paying attention.  And let’s not forget about Alex (Ariel Winter) and Haley (Sarah Hyland).  I don’t think I’ve seen them get so much screen time yet.  Plus they got to do some great scenes together.  Right from the very beginning of the show I’ve thought that the kids on Modern Family had a bunch of talent.  This episode was further proof that I was right.  I love being right.  9/10

2.  Glee “Britney/Brittany” (2×02) – A typical Glee random, almost incoherent, plot that was overcome by the awesome Heather Morris.  Although there wasn’t nearly enough of her for me.  I’m not a fan of Britney Spears, the person or her music but it was a small price to pay to see Heather Morris display her amazing talents.  Naya Rivera also got some more stuff to do but just like Morris I’m always wanting more.  Mark Salling, a guy that’s always underused on the show, was kinda on the sidelines this week but I guess that’s understandable considering it was a Britney episode.  Overall it was a pretty poor episode except for the above mentioned Heather Morris, a great rant by Sue after the “sex riot”, and a subtle but very very funny John Stamos.  I hope that Heather Morris gets more and more stuff to do, and that she gets to cover Ke$ha in the future.  A good episode for Brittany fans but pretty poor story wise.  And I know that I rated this episode lower than a bunch of other shows I watched this week but it goes this high because of my love of Heather Morris.  6.5/10

3.  Community “Accounting for Lawyers” (2×02) – Much better than last week’s episode due to the presence of Rob Corddry (“I stopped doing blow, not being rad”) and a pretty strong episode for Alison Brie.  She was given a decent amount of stuff this week and was made the sexy object on more than one occasion.  The more of that the better.  Ken Jeong wasn’t used to great effectiveness this week but that may change as the season progresses.  Plus Abed and Troy didn’t do much either.  I really liked the tag where Troy was gonna try and run at the wall to cross over into the cartoon world.  Finally, how much of a shock was it to see Drew Carey that damn skinny.  Does he have AIDS or something?  God damn he looked weird.  7.5/10

4.  Eastbound and Down “Chapter 7” (2×01) – A great foul mouthed return for Kenny Powers with what looks to be an entirely new cast surrounding Danny McBride.  Holy balls that little midget was hilarious.  I can’t wait to see what type of antics Powers gets himself into, especially with that hot singer in the red dress.  7/10

5.  30 Rock “When It Rains, It Pours” (6×02) – Finally, the show acknowledges that Tina Fey is a hot piece of ass.  The video clips that Jack puts together for his future son was great, especially when he showed how to throw a punch using Lutz, and how to make love to a woman, using Lutz.  Paul Giamatti guest starred so that was fairly cool too.  7.5/10

6.  How I Met Your Mother “Cleaning House” (6×02) – A very touching and funny episode let down only by the writers insisting that Barney act like the black dude was his father.  It would have been a far more effective episode if Barney’s brother finding his dad didn’t have all that silly stuff involving Barney at the end.  Still, the gang was used effectively and it told a very sweet story.  7/10

7.  Fringe “The Box” (3×02) – Never thought I’d say it but I’m happy that this episode was a monster of the week type deal.  I just hate the idea of Fringe dragging on with our Olivia stuck on the other side.  I hate the type of storylines where you can tell the writers are padding out the season.  This week was good too because the fake Olivia is way more fun that the real Olivia.  She dances, she smiles, she tries to fuck Peter.  She’s better than the real Olivia in every way.  Peter continues to be a buzzkill though.  7/10

8.  Running Wilde “Into The Wilde” (1×02) – David Cross hells yeah.  It’s awesome to see him in anything but to have him team up with Will Arnett on a weekly basis like back in the good ‘ol Arrested Development days is all sorts of wonderful.  Keri Russell was way better this week and Peter Serafinowicz was amazing yet again.  I loved his carpet chest hair and the fact that he wears two Rolex’s on the same wrist.  I think Running Wilde has a great deal of potential but I’m just not convinced that Fox will let the show run if it continues to get poor ratings.  That’s simply not the type of network they are.  6.5/10

9.  Boardwalk Empire “The Ivory Tower” (1×02) – A much slower episode this week partly because there wasn’t the need to establish who all the characters are and what their motivations might be.  I can certainly see Boardwalk Empire following the season structure of The Sopranos.  Slow for the most part with one or two episodes of carnage.  6.5/10

10.  Outsourced “The Measure of a Manmeet” (1×02) – For all the complaints I read about this show last week the one that stuck with me was the whole Manmeet issue.  Critics complained that the writers hammered this joke into the ground.  Well just the other day I heard a news bulletin on the radio about the Delhi Commonwealth Games and the piece contained the name of a Games organiser called Sheila Dickshit.  That may not be how it’s spelled but that’s how it’s pronounced.  I laughed in disbelief when I heard the name and then the radio hosts also made constant reference to it.  When something’s funny it’s funny.  I get the feeling that a lot of critics are trying to find reasons or instances where Outsourced is racist or xenophobic but for me I haven’t seen any yet.  The complaint that the show is simply an endless look at how it’s different for an American who lives and works in India fails to understand the very nature of the sitcom.  It’s a situational comedy.  The show derives its comedy from the situations around the characters.  And a show about a guy stuck working in India is gonna derive its comedy from that very situation.  Get over yourselves critics.  Just because the comedy comes from the differences between America and India doesn’t mean it’s racist.  On a lighter note, the cast are all pretty fantastic so far, and I get a real Better Off Ted crossed with The Office vibe from this show.  I’m surprised to say that I’ve really enjoyed the first two episodes of Outsourced.  6.5/10

11.  The Big Bang Theory “The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification” (4×02) – Well the surprises keep coming because I actually found this episode of The Big Bang Theory funny without too many predictable jokes and a very funny premise.  Add to that Kaley Cuoco looking pretty hot in her running outfit and it was a solid effort from the show.  6/10

12.  Detroit 1-8-7 “Local Hero/Overboard” (1×02) – This week was a definite step down from the pilot due to rather uninteresting cases, but it’s still an enjoyable procedural which doesn’t appear to have the same kinds of trappings as every other procedural on the air.  The show is clearly going for a more gritty and real look in order to set it apart from the other cop shows and I can appreciate that approach.  I’m not so sure I like the character traits that Finch seems to possess but hopefully he’ll develop as the season progresses.  Oh, and there was too much shaky-cam again this week.  Just tone it down a tad and it’ll be an improvement.  5.5/10

13.  Bored to Death “Escape From The Dungeon” (2×01) – I remember seeing promos for the first season of Bored to Death was I was in New York in August last year.  It looked really unique and cool and for the most part the first season lived up to my expectations.  Needless to say I was looking forward to the return of the show.  Unfortunately the first entry in the second season left me kinda cold on the show.  The show’s always been slow and not really laugh out loud funny, but it’s had a style and charm all it’s own.  That wasn’t there in this episode.  I don’t know what else to say other than it was a disappointing season premiere.  5.5/10

14.  Survivor “Glitter in Their Eyes” (21×03) – A pretty damn ordinary season continues to be pretty damn ordinary.  At least the hot Asian chick is still around.  5.5/10

15.  Hawaii Five-0 “Ohana” (1×02) – More average TV.  I think Hawaii Five-0 is gonna be the new CSI: Miami.  Lot’s of nice visuals with some crappy dialogue, by the numbers plots and an annoying lead.  I’ll probably continue to watch it though.  5/10

16.  No Ordinary Family “Pilot” (1×01) – See my review here.  5/10

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Best of the Week: Premiere Week 2010

Sep 26 2010 Published by under TV

A weekly post with the purpose of highlighting the shows I watched during the week and how I ranked them.  It’s not intended as a list of all shows on the air, only those that I actually watched during the week.  Watching something on Monday that aired on Friday won’t make the cut.

Like everything on this site it’s for my own enjoyment but feel free to comment.

For the first time since May 9th I get to write a Best of the Week.  God I’ve missed network TV.  Cable has been pretty good over the summer (especially True Blood which showed a significant improvement compared to its second season) but there’s nothing like having all my favourite shows back on the air and checking out all the new ones.  Premiere Week is kinda bananas this year because of the Jay Leno Show debacle and NBC picking up just about everything that came their way.  I’ll watch almost anything new this week or two, besides reality TV (I only watch Survivor), and will give even disappointing shows a couple of episodes before I decide whether they’re weekly viewing or not.  With that said, here’s what I thought of the shows I actually watched this past week.

1.  Glee “Audition” (2×01) – It’s back.  My favourite show from last season returns with everyone looking slightly more attractive, a new football coach, and a couple of new kids showing their singing talents.  Emma (Jayma Mays) was nowhere to be seen this week, but Cheyenne Jackson showed up right at the end as the new Vocal Adrenaline coach to poach another newbie Sunshine Corazon (Charice Pempengco).  Also new this season is Sam Evans (played by the impossibly named Chord Overstreet).  I’m hopeful that Jackson will still appear on 30 Rock this season but I guess it all depends on how fleshed out his stories are on both shows.  Time will tell.  Aside from that, there were some decent songs, I particularly liked how New York State of Mind was shot because it was kind of liberating seeing a performance outside of the auditorium or music room.  It wasn’t the knockout punch of a season opener that I like to get but it was a very solid effort that ranks up their with the best that Glee has put forward so far.  It didn’t hurt that the comedy was supplied from a number of characters this week rather than the usual lone source of Sue.  You can check out my full review here.  8/10

2.  Boardwalk Empire “Boardwalk Empire” (1×01) – It’s just as great as you’d expect it to be with the sheer number of talented people associated with it.  It’s like Goodfellas, The Sopranos and Deadwood had a three-way and Boardwalk Empire was the baby that came from this imaginary sperm soup.  I love that Kelly McDonald is in something that so many people will see.  I’ve loved her ever since I first saw Trainspotting.  The same goes for Steve Buscemi.  He’s so amazingly talented that it’s a crying shame it’s taken this long for him to land as the lead in something so ambitious.  I can’t wait to see what the rest of the season holds for this show.  And HBO obviously has a tremendous amount of faith in Boardwalk Empire because it was picked up for a second season after its first episode.  8/10

3.  Modern Family “The Old Wagon” (2×01) – I don’t know what to say about Modern Family other than it’s consistently great.  Every single person on this show is impressive and there hasn’t been a bad episode so far.  The premiere of the second season doesn’t change that fact.  All the stories were fun and heartwarming and perhaps best of all is that the season premiere got the best ratings the show has had so far.  I guess all those Emmy wins helped.  7.5/10

4.  Detroit 1-8-7 “Pilot” (1×01) – I’ve seen maybe two episodes each of Homicide: Life on the Street and NYPD Blue so I’m not the best person to compare them, but I really think that Detroit 1-8-7 is going for that kind of feel.  The shaky-cam look (which I think was perhaps a little overdone in this episode), the tone of the show, and the stronger emphasis on working the case made this feel far closer to the two shows I mentioned than the endless number of by the books procedurals on the air.  Another bonus was that unlike Chase, another new crime/procedural, Detroit 1-8-7 had some good acting, led by the super-awesome Michael Imperioli, and some pretty decent dialogue.  The really great thing about the pilot was that even though it was only 40-odd minutes long, just like every other procedural on the air, it didn’t feel like there were these quick jumps in clues or evidence.  It felt like actual time had passed and that the cops didn’t have these miraculous breakthroughs out of thin air.  All in all it was the best new show this week on network TV.  It simply has a feel that no other show on TV has and really tries to hark back to the good cop dramas of the 90′s.  It’s like a mix between the great cop films of the 70′s and TV’s love affair with the procedural.  If the show is able to stay based around the characters more than the crime then I can see this being one of my favourite shows in no time at all.  7/10

5.  30 Rock “The Fabian Strategy” (5×01) – It seems like more of the same but when the show is 30 Rock that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Jack hitting on the gay interior designer was pretty funny and I enjoyed the inclusion of CBS and The Late Show, but other than that this episode wasn’t particularly noteworthy.  Still, it’s 30 Rock and it stars Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin so this grade is par for the course.  7/10

6.  Running Wilde “Pilot” (1×01) – There wasn’t nearly enough David Cross but I’m hopeful that will change of the season progresses, and Kerri Russell wasn’t that great but she’ll probably grow on me.  But the best outside of Will Arnett of course was the clear Arrested Development vibe.  Still, Fox are assholes and it’ll probably be cancelled within 3 weeks.  Until then I’m looking forward to seeing how the show develops and how long it takes for some Arrested Development alumni to drop by.  6.5/10

7.  Fringe “Olivia” (3×01) – More woe is me from Olivia.  How long until she bangs her head and remembers she’s from the other dimension?  Or until fake Olivia screws up and Peter suspects her?  I get the feeling that this plot point is gonna drag on for a bit and I hated it when I saw it coming in last season’s finale.  6.5/10

8.  Community “Anthropology 101” (2×01) – Fuck Britta.  And fuck Jeff for talking himself out of hooking up with Annie.  I’d been looking forward to Jeff and Annie getting together since the show began and it took all of half an episode for the writers to undo what happened in last season’s finale.  That’s bullshit.  If there has to be a relationship between any of the characters it has to be between Jeff and Annie.  Or maybe Troy and Abed.  6.5/10

9.  Undercovers “Pilot” (1×01) – I really enjoyed the sharpness of the banter, plus Ben Schwartz, a guy I know from brief appearances on Parks and Recreation was very very good as Hoyt.  Leon was also pretty cool and added to the loose, fun vibe that I think the show is going for.  I just loved the lightness to the show and visually it looked very impressive.  My first impression is that the show may end up being a less dark, non-mythological version of Alias.  Just a fun escapist spy comedy thriller.  I can’t think of a show on TV that fits that description so hopefully Undercovers will find a place in the audiences schedule.  6.5/10

10.  How I Met Your Mother “Big Days” (6×01) – More God damn teasing about that fucking mother.  Ever since last season ended the producers have said that the 1st episode would be a gamechanger.  It wasn’t.  It was just more of the same stringing along and frankly I’m getting tired of it.  I want some development in my shows and a show about how a guy meets his kid’s mother should have introduced that mother by now.  Otherwise they should forget that premise and just make it a show about five friends living in NYC.  I’ll watch this show for as long as it’s on the air simply because of Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel but I’ve given up hope of this show ever being as good as the 2nd season again.  6/10

11.  Hawaii Five-0 “Pilot” (1×01) – See my review here.  5/10

12.  The Event “I Haven’t Told You Everything” (1×01) – They all want so desperately to be the next serialized show now that Lost if off the air.  Hell, they all wanted to be the next serialized show when Lost was on the air.  None of the shows that have tried to capture the magic of Lost have succeeded.  Either through poor acting, bad writing, shitty planning of the structure of the season or mythology, or a boring premise, all of the Lost wannabes have failed.  I’m sure that NBC will keep The Event around for this season, and I’ll watch another couple of episodes to give it a chance, but I’m supremely confident that it’s just another crappy knockoff filled with barely adequate acting, writing and directing.  The Event was completely uneventful in every way imaginable.  5/10

13.  The Big Bang Theory “The Robotic Manipulation” (4×01) – See my review here.  4.5/10

14.  Chase “Pilot” (1×01) – Oh my God.  It’s just like every other bland law enforcement agency procedural on the air, but in this case the lead is a stone faced woman with absolutely no appeal whatsoever.  It should come as no surprise that NBC has failed once again.  I’m usually willing to give a show a couple of episodes to convince me that it’s worth my time, but I won’t be watching Chase ever again.  There’s absolutely nothing here that can’t be seen somewhere else and done much better.  4/10

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THE BIG BANG THEORY 4×01 review

Sep 25 2010 Published by under Reviews, TV

TITLE: “The Robotic Manipulation”
WRITTEN BY: Steven Molaro, Eric Kaplan and Steve Holland
AIR DATE: September 23rd 2010

For three years now I’ve ridiculed my friends Crystal and Bean for liking The Big Bang Theory.  At every possible opportunity I would tell them how unbelievable it is that they enjoy a show which is so generic and unfunny.  I would tell them that The Big Bang Theory is what’s wrong with TV.  It’s a show that appeals to the dumbest in society.  If humanity evolved to the state seen in Idiocracy then The Big Bang Theory would be the show everyone watched.  It’s like the fictional show Yo Teach featured in Judd Apatow’s film Funny People, except fifty times worse.  I said all this and probably much more and I’d only seen about 10 minutes of the pilot.

So I set myself a task.  Between the last episode of The Big Bang Theory on May 24th 2010 and the premiere this season I was going to watch every episode which had been produced.  And I did it.  It was boring and uneventful and downright depressing that so many people find enjoyment in this show and yet are blissfully unaware of other far superior efforts, but I did it.  And it’s with great pleasure that I can say that my snap judgement of the show after my initial 10 minute viewing was absolutely correct.  The Big Bang Theory is a terrible show.  It’s painfully unfunny, offers just about no character development from episode to episode, let alone season to season, and features some of the worst “pause for laugh track” acting seen on TV.  The lack of development means that each episode is interchangeable with every other episode.  Sure, Leonard and Penny got together during the third season but aside from that short lived event there’s been no development whatsoever.  I will admit that it’s not the worst sitcom on the air, but of the show’s that either get good ratings or deserve to get good ratings, it second in shitness only to Two and a Half Men.

Over 64 episodes I’ve chuckled, not laughed, twice.  First was when Sheldon said he wasn’t going to watch Clone Wars before Attack of the Clones because he wanted to be disappointed in the order that George Lucas intended.  The second was when Sheldon goes insane and ends up in a pool of plastic balls emerging through them to taunt Leonard with shouts of “bazinga”.

None of this should be taken to mean that I don’t like the actors.  Jim Parsons was awesome in Garden State.  Johnny Galecki was on Roseanne so he gets credit for that.  And Kaley Cuoco is hot in a kinda more female Brooke Hogan way.  The other two I can do without.  It’s just that the show is so ordinary.  I don’t understand how The Big Bang Theory can get 3 to 4 times as many viewers as Parks and Recreation.  What kind of a world do we live in that would allow that to happen.  Why do people choose to watch something that’s clearly inferior?

I’m gonna continue to watch The Big Bang Theory this season so that I can validly criticise it to my friends and so that superior comedies like Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Modern Family and Eastbound & Down look that much sweeter.

RATING: 4.5/10

CONCLUSION:
It’s shit, unfunny and loved by the masses.  If that’s not a sign of the dumbing of society I don’t know what it.

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HAWAII FIVE-0 1×01 review

Sep 22 2010 Published by under Reviews, TV

TITLE: “Pilot”
WRITTEN BY: Peter M. Lenkov
AIR DATE: September 20th 2010

God, it’s been ages since I’ve written anything for my humble little site.  Work has taken over my life, but such is the drama of a guy working 50+ hours a week split between two jobs.  The time I do have at home is spent watching TV and films and playing video games, rather than writing about the things I watch.
So what the hell has made me want to spend my precious time writing a review for Hawaii Five-0?  The truth is that there’s nothing especially special about Hawaii Five-0.  It’s another slick, shiny looking CBS procedural, and to make matters worse it’s a remake.  Nevertheless, despite how bland and generic it is I kinda enjoyed the pilot.  I think the most refreshing thing about the pilot is that it didn’t delve into the kind of dark material that most procedurals make their bread and butter.  Aside from the main character’s father being killed the pilot was fairly light viewing, with the 40 odd minutes going by pretty quickly.

The best thing about the pilot was Scott Caan, who seems to have brought over his chatty comedic banter that he displayed in the Ocean’s trilogy.  Daniel Dae Kim (a guy any diehard Lost fan loves) also appears and it will be interesting to see what he does on the show given his great work on Lost.  Hopefully his turn on Hawaii Five-0 will show that his role on Lost wasn’t simply a case of being one of many on one of the greatest shows ever (a fate that I’m sure Evangeline Lilly will face soon).  It was also pretty cool to see Irish Spike on the pilot and maybe he’ll make another appearance later in the season.

By far the worst thing about the pilot, and something that will probably continue to be a drag for as long as the show stays on the air, is the charisma vacuum (© The AV Club) that is Alex O’Loughlin.  I know the guy’s father was killed and he wants to track down the killer, but the show is meant to be a lighter alternative to the heavy depressing content seen on most other procedurals.  Couldn’t they have tinkered with the character a little to make him less of a buzz kill?  My hope is that it’s just the pilot and that as the show progresses and develops its tone better that O’Loughlin won’t be such a bummer whenever he’s on screen.

As you would expect with a CBS procedural it’s pretty damn slick and attractive with a decent soundtrack to accompany the sights of Hawaii, and I’m sure the scenery will feature as prominently in this show as it does in CSI: Miami.  And ever so quickly, Grace Park was marginally hot but nothing special, and I hated Jean Smart.  The only thing she’s done that I’ve ever liked was Garden State.  I thought she was fantastic in that.

Hawaii Five-0 isn’t the greatest television ever (it’s not even close), but it may settle into being a show people watch to just escape without having to deal with the grim content of the other police procedurals on the air, something akin to Las Vegas.  Watchable but forgettable. Like most everything I’m gonna watch during this premiere week, I’ll give the show another couple of episodes before I decide on whether or not I’ll make it weekly viewing.

RATING: 5/10

CONCLUSION:
The simple fact it that 50% is average and that’s exactly what the pilot was.  It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t particularly good.  That alone warrants a 5/10 grade.

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Best of the Week: 2nd-8th May 2010

May 09 2010 Published by under TV

A weekly post with the purpose of highlighting the shows I watched during the week and how I ranked them.  It’s not intended as a list of all shows on the air, only those that I actually watched during the week.  Watching something on Monday that aired on Friday won’t make the cut.

Like everything on this site it’s for my own enjoyment but feel free to comment.

Oh man, it’s been a long time since I’ve written up my Best of the Week.  What with work, a hectic study schedule and a lot of shows being on break I haven’t had the time or desire to do one of these.  That all changed this week though because I watched a decent amount of shows and my exams are over.  It feels good.  Hell, I even found time to go see Iron Man 2.

1. Parks and Recreation “Telethon” (2×22) – Detlef Schrempf.  That’s gotta be one of the best and most random casting/cameos I’ve ever seen.  Add in some truly fantastic highjinks from everyone at the telethon, Ron’s sleep fighting, and Leslie passing out at Anne’s in the tag and it amounts to one of the best episodes this season on a show which to me is clearly the #1 comedy on TV.  9.5/10

2. Lost “The Candidate” (6×14) – It’s hard to judge individual episodes of Lost because each season is really constructed as one large story which is broken up in 14-16 parts.  Not to say that the show isn’t consistently fantastic because it is.  I feel like I should have had some emotional response to the deaths which occurred during the episode but it just left me stunned that they actually killed off main characters this far from the finale.  I wasn’t expecting the people who died to actually die.  Not now and not in the series as a whole.  And I certainly wasn’t expecting four of them to go in one episode.  Looks like Jack’s the man now though.  I just wish they’d reconcile the two realities already, but something tells me we’ll learn what the whole sideways thing means in the finale and not a minute sooner.  8/10

3. Community “Modern Warfare” (1×23) – It was like Terminator, Die Hard and a John Woo flick all rolled into one.  Fantastic stuff.  Community is really ending its first season on a roll.  This and the great Goodfellas inspired episode were some of the best stuff this season.  What’s even better is that Jeff and Britta hooking up wasn’t the focal point of the episode so we finally got that over with (I’m not a fan of those two getting together, I’d prefer Jeff and Annie) without it turning into a must see episode.  Oh, and Ken Jeong rocks.  8/10

4. 30 Rock “The Moms” (4×20) – All those returning moms.  Brilliant.  Tina Fey’s boobs.  Brilliant.  Alec Baldwin being a fucking comedic legend.  Brilliant.  I really run out of ways to say how much I love 30 Rock.  This is how a sitcom should be done, not like that piece of shit Big Bang Theory.  8/10

5. Survivor “A Sinking Ship” (20×13) – Russell continues to amaze me week after week.  I wouldn’t of thought that was possible after almost two seasons with him but the guy’s a damn God.  He almost certainly won’t win it this season either (he might not even make it to the final 3) but just like last season he deserves to.  His hand has been in every move over the last two seasons.  That’s unheard of.  8/10

6. Fringe “Northwest Passage” (2×21) – Only two good things occurred in this very lacklustre episode.  Martha Plimpton guest starred (The Goonies is one of my all-time favourite films) and the identity of the “Secretary General” was revealed.  And to no-one’s surprise it turned out to be alternate Walter.  I can see it now, Walternate will tempt Peter to join him, Peter will consider but ultimately side with Walter (yay Peter really does love him, isn’t everything grand) and defeat Walternate in some mediocre fashion.  I hope I’m wrong and the plot develops better than that but I don’t think I will be.  5/10

7. How I Met Your Mother “Twin Beds” (5×21) – I didn’t even make it through the whole episode.  I think that’s the first time I haven’t watched an episode of HIMYM all the way through during its entire run.  What the hell happened to this show?  4/10

Didn’t Find Time To Watch: The Office, Treme, Justified, Party Down or The Ricky Gervais Show.

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Best of the Week: 7th-13th Feb (Twitter style)

Feb 14 2010 Published by under TV

A weekly post with the purpose of highlighting the shows I watched during the week and how I ranked them.  It’s not intended as a list of all shows on the air, only those that I actually watched during the week.  Watching something on Monday that aired on Friday won’t make the cut.

Like everything on this site it’s for my own enjoyment but feel free to comment.

Once again my study commitments have raised their ugly head and I just haven’t had the time to post anything.  I’m still getting in some TV watching but even that has shrunk a little with the workload.  I’m gonna do my Best of the Week in a Twitter style 160 character format this week in an effort to get something posted and to save just a little time.

1.  Archer “Skorpio” (1×06) – Either Carol or Lana naked or in lingerie for the entire episode. The best story and some of the funniest lines yet. Best episode so far.  9.5/10

2.  30 Rock “Anna Howard Shaw Day” (4×13) – Five cool cameos. Horatio Sanz, Dean Winters, Jon Hamm, Jason Sudeikis, and Jon Bon Jovi. Liz tripping balls was awesome too.  7.5/10

3.  Survivor “Slay Everyone, Trust No One” (20×01) – Steph is back. That alone makes the return of Survivor kick ass. But add in Russell, Amanda, Tom, Courtney, Rupert, Colby & Jerri too. WOW!!  7.5/10

4.  Community “Communication Studies” (1×16) – The Breakfast Club montage alone made this ep superb, but Senior Chang dancing like Michael Jackson sustained the greatness.  7/10

5.  Lost “What Kate Does” (6×03) – I hate to put it this low but Kate episodes are always so dull. The few revelations in this ep didn’t make up for it’s mediocrity.  5.5/10

6.  How I Met Your Mother “Rabbit or Duck” (5×15) – Why is HIMYM so average this season? Maybe if they actually introduced the “mother” it would inject some life into the show.  5/10

7.  The Mentalist “Blood In, Blood Out” (2×14) – Cho’s a former gang member. That’s the biggest leap this show’s asked of me, and that’s saying something. None of these CBI guys are tough.  4.5/10

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Best of the Week: 17th-23rd Jan

Jan 25 2010 Published by under TV

A weekly post with the purpose of highlighting the shows I watched during the week and how I ranked them.  It’s not intended as a list of all shows on the air, only those that I actually watched during the week.  Watching something on Monday that aired on Friday won’t make the cut.

Like everything on this site it’s for my own enjoyment but feel free to comment.


Just under two weeks until Lost premieres.  Oh my God I can’t wait.  I tried to get as much TV watching in as I could this week but I haven’t felt too crash hot.  Plus I watched a lot of late night talk shows and finally saw Sherlock Holmes and The Fantastic Mr Fox so all that ate into the time I could spend on prime time TV.  I’m also trying to catch up on The Mentalist, The Office and I’ve started to watch Chuck so I’m going right back to the beginning on that one.

1.  Archer “Diversity Hire” (1×03) – The show’s only three episodes old and it’s already getting hard to come up with ways to say it’s damn funny and the best show on TV.  So aside from that I’d also like to mention the fabulous voice work by all of the actors.  Every single one of them does a superb job.  Roll on the next episode.  8/10

2.  30 Rock “Winter Madness” (4×11) – The gang head to Boston as a reason for Jack to meet up with Nancy.  I loved when Tracy said nothing bad could happen and behind him Pete says “smash cut to”.  It’s writing like this which makes the show so damn good.  7.5/10

3.  Better Off Ted “Lust in Translation” (2×10) – I really enjoyed this episode.  All three stories were fun.  Especially Ted and Greta using the translator with Phil’s voice while having sex.  The episode also had more great stuff with Linda and Veronica.  Whenever those two are together it makes for some awesome scenes.  7/10

4.  Fringe “What Lies Below” (2×13) – A good standalone episode.  That’s been a hard thing to come by this season.  I especially liked the idea of a virus decimating the Earth hundreds of thousands of years ago and then being defeated by a volcanic eruption.  It seems very X-Files to me but not in a derivative way.  I wasn’t too fond of Peter going crazy from the virus but I guess there had to be personal stake for everyone involved.  And there was once again more hints as to Peter’s death and Walter getting an alternative.  The next episode is titled “The Bishop Revival” so I’m really hoping that the show finally deals with what Walter did after the original Peter died.  7/10

5.  Community “Interpretive Dance” (1×14) – This episode was actually an improvement over the last few but it still wasn’t anything too great.  Danny Pudi continues to be the best thing about the show but he doesn’t seem to be getting much to do.  I’m not to fond of the idea that Britta is gonna be jealous of Jeff and the accounting teacher.  I don’t want another will they or won’t they show.  6.5/10

6.  How I Met Your Mother “Jenkins” (5×13) – Yeesh.  Talk about fucking average.  HIMYM is fast becoming a hit or miss show.  One week it’s brilliant and the next it’s barely acceptable.  It was nice to see Amanda Peet on the show but she was completely wasted with such a shitty story.  The same happened with Rachel Bilson last week.  They better not fuck up Carrie Underwood’s appearance.  5/10

7.  The Mentalist “Bleeding Heart” (2×12) – Eh.  Eco-terrorism and local council politics don’t make for a good episode.  Average as always but Jane wasn’t really that compelling this week.  And as much of a fan as I am of Robin Tunney in Empire Records and Encino Man I’m fast approaching a can’t stand her attitude to her on The Mentalist.  Her performance/character just rubs me the wrong way.  Amanda Righetti too.  I really wish there were more Red John stories on the show ‘cos a couple per season isn’t anywhere near enough.  4.5/10

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Best of the Week: 10th-16th Jan

Jan 18 2010 Published by under TV

A weekly post with the purpose of highlighting the shows I watched during the week and how I ranked them.  It’s not intended as a list of all shows on the air, only those that I actually watched during the week.  Watching something on Monday that aired on Friday won’t make the cut.

Like everything on this site it’s for my own enjoyment but feel free to comment.

TV finally came back in a substantial way this week so that means I can do my Best of the Week post again.  It was an especially great week because we got double episodes of Fringe, 30 Rock, Better Off Ted, Chuck, and Archer, and there was comedy gold on just about all the late night talk shows concerning the Leno vs Conan vs NBC drama that’s been unfolding.

1.  Archer “Training Day” (1×01) – Ever since I saw the pilot back in September (which I guess is no longer the pilot considering the order that FX chose to show the first two episodes) I’ve been dying to see some more.  I’m thrilled beyond belief that I wasn’t let down.  I loved the Archer and Cyril story about training him and thinking Cyril killed a hooker.  I always know a show or movie is good when the time flies while watching it, I don’t even once look at my watch, and it leaves me wanting more as soon as it ends.  All the best shows do that.  30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, South Park.  Archer is already up to that level.  Two episodes down and it’s already the clear frontrunner to be my favourite new show this year (and second only to Lost as my favourite of everything on TV).  9/10

2.  Archer “Mole Hunt” (1×02) – It’s still hilarious after all the times I’ve watched it.  If anyone’s interested I did a little review of this episode back in September.  Check it out here. 9/10

3.  Parks and Recreation “The Set Up” (2×13) – Aziz Ansari said that this may be his favourite episode of Parks and Recreation yet and I think I have to agree.  Not only did we get a guest appearance by Amy Poehler’s husband Will Arnett as the uncomfortable date that Ann sets Leslie up with, but we also got the first episode in Justin Theroux’s arc and the supremely great Aubrey Plaza once again shined with some increased screen time.  Nick Offerman also continues to be balls out hilarious.  9/10

4.  30 Rock “Klaus and Greta” (4×09) – James Franco as himself and in love with human sized pillow with an anime girl on it.  Priceless.  Kenneth and Jack on a mission was also fantastic.  9/10

5.  30 Rock “Black Light Attack!” (4×10) – It was nice to see Danny again, and for Liz to get some action (in back to back episodes no less), but overall it just wasn’t as good as the previous episode.  The Jenna and Tracy stories really brought it down a notch or two.  8.5/10

6.  The Tonight Show – Late night talk shows don’t really belong in this list but the circumstances have been rather unique this week.  Conan moving to The Tonight Show resulted in him curtailing some of his more outlandish behaviour and that was a real shame.  However, with all the drama surrounding his probable ousting from the show this week it’s freed him up to do the type of comedy that he’s great at.  Not to mention the almost continuous attacks on both NBC and Leno have been a thing of beauty.  It’ll be a shame when Conan goes off the air and Leno returns to suck NBC’s cock and fondle their balls like the bitch he is.  8.5/10

7.  Better Off Ted “The Impertence of Communicationizing” (2×08) – The outtakes for this episode which were posted online during the week were far better than what was actually used, but it was a nice episode about following company mandates despite how illogical they may seem.  Better Off Ted does a good job of highlighting the bureaucracy of company life and this was another solid example of that.  7/10

8.  The Mentalist “Rose-Colored Glasses” (2×11) – I watched about half of the 1st season of The Mentalist and then gave up on it for no real reason.  I figured I’d give it another watch seen as how it’s doing really well in the ratings on Thursday against some good competition.  I can tell you it hasn’t changed at all since about the same point last season.  Simon Baker is still effortlessly charming as Thomas Jane and the rest of the gang are still D grade wanna be FBI Agents.  The show lives and dies by Baker’s performance and as long as Thomas Jane doesn’t become a one trick pony the show is at least mildly entertaining.  Other than that it’s just the current procedural du jour.  6.5/10

8.  Better Off Ted “The Long and Winding High Road” (2×09) -  Another good episode of Veronica using Rose as a tool to get what she wants.  I love it when they do that in the show.  Aside from that though it was a pretty average episode.  6.5/10

9.  Fringe “Johari Window” (2×12) – A pretty decent standalone episode which has been a rare thing so far this season.  I wish they’d get back to the mythology of the show though.  That’s where the real gold is.  And you gotta believe that Peter is gonna find out about being a double at some point this season.  There’s been too much of it so far for it not to be revealed.  6/10

10.  How I Met Your Mother “Girls vs Suits” (5×12) – A real letdown for the 100th episode.  There was nothing for Jason Segel or Alyson Hannigan to do and Cobie Smulders was left to be a jealous hot chick.  Plus there was more of that damn annoying mother teasing.  Either the mother is important to the premise of the show or she isn’t, but 100 episodes in should be far enough for her to be revealed by now.  If she’s important she should be in the mix by now, and if she’s not then introducing her doesn’t need to be some huge revelation.  I wish the writers/producers would just bite the bullet and cast someone already.  5.5/10

11.  Jimmy Kimmel Live! – Once again, another late night talk show appears on the list.  This time thanks to Kimmel impersonating Leno for an entire show.  Props to Chevy Chase for also making a minimal effort to appear as Conan.  6/10

12.  Fringe “Unearthed” (2×11) – Fox airing a previously unaired season one episode was just stupid.  Charlie Francis died early this season yet there he is in all his glory being a bad ass FBI Agent.  It made zero sense in the context of the season and I’m sure I’m not the only one who was confused when I first saw him on the screen.  Couple that with the fact that it was a very average episode and I get the feeling that Fox is burning off episodes so that the show can be dumped at the end of the season.  4.5/10

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